Jade Small
Jade Small
March 5, 2024 ·  4 min read

Some Psychopaths May Seem ‘Nice’ But Really Aren’t. Here are 3 Subtle Behaviors to Look Out For.

Although complete psychopathy is uncommon, scientists believe that about 30% of people, in general, exhibit some psychopathic tendencies. An expert, Shahida Arabi, has identified three subtle behaviors to watch out for if you fear someone you’re with is psychopathic—a vicious delight in inflicting suffering while pretending to be innocent.

Narcissistic people often incite others in an attempt to feel in control and powerful. Those who are psychopathic go five steps further: they find pleasure in inflicting harm on others in addition to enjoying control over them. Even the most subdued psychopaths may cause significant harm by deliberately inflicting mental pain; nevertheless, even the most severe psychopaths are gratuitous in their sadism and can escalate to physical violence. The more “primary” kind of psychopath—the calm-headed, less impulsive, and fearless psychopath—tends to be highly skilled at hiding their traces to evade responsibility.

A Devious Ulterior Motive

Under the pretense of building a relationship, they will carefully probe your triggers by asking you pointed questions, only to utilize the knowledge they learn to harm you again and over again. When they expose you to the precise behavior you’ve told them hurts or has damaged you in the past, they will appear as though they are going above and beyond to protect you from harm. For instance, if you tell a psychopath about a trauma you went through (such as having a verbally abusive parent), they could appear as if they understand you. Still, then they might act out the same trauma to set you off (for example, the psychopath might start calling you names and cursing right after you disclose it). 

Alternatively, if you inform a psychopathic person that one of their actions is hurtful (e.g., “Please don’t speak to me in that condescending, sarcastic tone; it hurts me”), they could first apologize but then carry on with the same behavior. A cunning grin as they apologize or a glint of delight in their eyes, as they see the shocked expression on your face, are further indicators that they are enjoying hurting you. They tend to become tired of the individuals they used to hold in high regard quickly, and their connection with you might alter at any time.

What Are the Sudden “Switch-Ups” That Often Indicate Psychopathic Behavior?

However, the “switch-up” in their demeanor might seem sudden and abrupt by the time they’ve used up all of your resources, become tired of you, or are chasing new targets. This is because they are emotionally shallow and cynical in their relationships and lack the emotional permanency to see you as precious to them unless there is some feeling of novelty or selfish advantage. They are high sensation seekers who are bored all the time and are constantly looking for something new to do or a flashy object to play with. Maybe a psychopath severely blasted your feelings of love, making it seem as though they are focusing all of your attention on someone else and no longer “see you.” 

However, if they feel “new” again or lose power over their spouses, both narcissistic and psychopathic partners can idealize their partners once more. According to studies, this is because they wish to keep having access to those partners’ resources and sex.

They deceive you with their otherworldly charm and sympathy ploys, yet there’s something strange or even uncomfortable about the way they act. They tend to treat you worse the better you treat them. The power of a psychopath’s glib, surface-level charm is immense. The most crafty psychopaths are adept at deceiving you by striking a balance between charm and innocence. They are aware that you might not believe them if they appear overly knowledgeable and experienced.

They Will Say Whatever Lie It Takes

They could declare in advance that they “hate liars” or “I hate players” to stop this. I am a romantic,” they say, luring you in with heartfelt tales of their previous hurts and pity parties. Even then, often there are subtle clues that something from their charm is “missing”. These clues might include contempt beneath the surface or a fit of simmering anger, a slight glimpse of jealousy in their eyes, an odd awkwardness, or even the sense that they are simply enacting a movie scene or saying what you may wish to hear rather than their honest feelings.

In contrast to an empathetic person, a psychopathic person will treat you cruelly and callously even if you’ve gone above and beyond to aid them—indeed, even if you’ve treated them nicely. Psychopaths treat those who support them with even more disdain because they believe they can get away with it, while most empathetic individuals would be kind and kind in return. 

If you show them any more sympathy or kindness, they will take advantage of it and hurt you even more. To keep yourself safe, distance yourself from this individual and seek out professional help for your healing.

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