Jade Small
Jade Small
October 26, 2024 ·  3 min read

People who didn’t receive enough emotional support as a child display these 12 traits as adults

A healthy childhood is built on the foundation of emotional support from caregivers. Unfortunately, not every child receives the nurturing they need, and the absence of emotional validation can leave deep marks on adulthood. Here are common traits exhibited by adults who lacked emotional support during childhood.

1. They Have Difficulty Expressing Emotions

Learning to identify and manage emotions is a process that begins in early childhood, often through interaction with emotionally stable adults. Without this support, adults may struggle to express their feelings, leading to emotional suppression or uncontrolled outbursts.

2. They Experience Anxiety

A lack of emotional safety as a child can lead to chronic anxiety in adulthood. These individuals often experience hypervigilance and overthinking, constantly on edge as they try to anticipate potential emotional threats.

3. They Fear Rejection

Adults who lacked support in childhood frequently fear abandonment. Anticipating disappointment from others, they may be overly cautious in relationships, which makes emotional vulnerability difficult. This fear of rejection often prevents them from forming strong, healthy connections.

4. They Are Perfectionists

Perfectionism can emerge as a coping mechanism for feelings of inadequacy. Adults who didn’t receive validation as children may feel the need to be perfect in order to earn the love they didn’t get. Unfortunately, perfection is an unattainable goal, leaving them perpetually unsatisfied with themselves.

5. They Have Difficulty Trusting Others

Trust issues are common in adults who lacked emotional support as children. Having learned that others can be unreliable or hurtful, they may remain guarded in relationships and maintain emotional distance to protect themselves from being hurt again.

6. They Need External Validation

When positive reinforcement is lacking in childhood, adults may grow up needing others to confirm their worth. Without a solid sense of internal validation, they constantly seek approval and reassurance from those around them, often struggling to see their own value.

7. They Are Afraid of Conflict

Adults who grew up without emotional support may avoid confrontation to prevent rejection or disappointment. They often suppress their true feelings and tolerate situations where their needs aren’t met, prioritizing peace over their own emotional well-being.

8. They Have Attachment Issues

Emotional neglect can lead to anxious or avoidant attachment styles. These individuals might cling to others out of fear of abandonment or maintain emotional distance to protect themselves. Both behaviors make it difficult to form healthy, balanced relationships.

9. They Struggle with Setting Boundaries

Adults who didn’t receive support as children often have difficulty asserting their needs and setting boundaries. They may feel guilty or uncomfortable doing so, as though their needs are an inconvenience to others. Even when they manage to set boundaries, they often avoid defending them.

10. They Are People-Pleasers

Many individuals who lacked emotional support as children develop people-pleasing tendencies. To gain approval or avoid conflict, they prioritize others’ needs over their own, repeating behaviors they learned in childhood where obedience was rewarded or they feared negative consequences.

11. They Tend Toward Codependency

A childhood devoid of emotional support can lead some adults to overcompensate by placing their self-worth on how much someone else needs them. These individuals may form codependent relationships, becoming overly reliant on another person to feel valued, often at the cost of their own well-being.

12. They Have Low Self-Esteem

A person’s self-esteem is largely developed in childhood through love, support, and encouragement. Without these, adults often feel undeserving of love or success. They may struggle with confidence and fail to recognize their own worth, believing they are never good enough.

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