Finding love on Tinder without AI assistance is difficult. After his last engagement ended in 2021, Aleksandr Zhadan started Tinder swiping for a Moscow girlfriend. He spent hours contacting and dating unsuccessfully. So, he programmed OpenAI’s GPT-2 as his dating assistant. He found his wife after dating 5,239 Tinder ladies and going on 100 dates.“I really understand dating apps can be hard and embarrassing,” Zhadan told Gizmodo. He tried ChatGPT to break the ice after hearing about it.
From Algorithmic Attraction to Real Love: How AI Helped This Man Find His Match
The program sounded like him, understood his hobbies, and scheduled in-person dates on Google Calendar. Zhadan programmed his program to like compatible women. He also removed accounts with alcohol images, zodiac signs in their biographies, and other unattractive details. Initial versions could send messages and have conversations, but they had flaws. In the early communications, ChatGPT requested a woman to “go for a long walk in the woods”. ChatGPT promised Zhadan chocolate and roses on a date. She disliked Zhadan when he arrived empty-handed, oblivious of his digital assistant’s promise. He modified his project with OpenAI GPT-3, 3.5, and 4, making it a more thoughtful lover.
Zhadan’s dating helper selected Karina Vyalshakaeva among 5,000 women. Vyalshakaeva claims she spoke using ChatGPT during the first few months after the couple matched in December 2022. Zhadan stopped ChatGPT from Tindering after a few in-person dates with Vyalshakaeva. After going down, the pair moved in in 2023.
Zhadan upgraded his program one last time to become his dating expert. Zhadan took over conversing with Vyalshakaeva as ChatGPT spoke less. The program knew Zhadan’s dating preferences and flaws, therefore it helped him be a better partner. “At some point, the project wrote me a recommendation that may be time to propose to Karina,” Zhadan stated. He believed his AI project was hallucinating—he never wanted to marry—but suddenly he realized. “Karina wanted to go to a wedding, but ChatGPT thought she’d prefer her own,” he added. “I took the advice, and she agreed.”
A few months into the partnership, Vyalshakaeva learned about the initiative. She was surprised that her fianceé was using ChatGPT to chat with her. She thinks initial Tinder discussions are about learning about a possible partner’s interests, hopes, and ideologies. Her future husband’s chatbot communicated this well early on. “I spent a lot of time personalizing these prompts so, for me, it’s okay when used in a rational way,” Vyalshakaeva said in an interview, adding that Zhadan’s assistant was practical when busy. “I love our real-life connection, which is most important.”
Love in the Algorithm Age: ChatGPT Finds its Match (But Not for Everyone)
Zhadan is not selling this product because it’s expensive to run—he spent thousands on it. However, his fianceé believes AI dating aides can help others if they’re honest about their needs. “I think you really need to understand your goals,” Vyalshakaeva remarked. In order to find a girlfriend, Alexander programmed ChatGPT with personalized information. If ChatGPT and your speech disagree, difficulties will arise. Writing dating app pickup lines is challenging and often cringe-worthy. ChatGPT for Tinder and Hinge is getting more popular; OpenAI’s GPT Store contains many simpler Zhadan chatbots. Does ChatGPT make a connection meaningful or real?
“I’m in favor of making the dating process more efficient and truncating the time between matching and meeting in person,” said certified dating coach and author of F the Fairy Tale, a book about realistic dating expectations. Hoffman added, “If you can program a tool to work as your dating assistant and get you to real human connection faster, that feels more authentic than trying to suss out who someone is in a never-ending text thread.” Tinder may have an issue despite the confidence vote. Although dating apps don’t want AI chatbots posing as people, the business doesn’t rule them out.
Tinder’s spokesman told Gizmodo about Match Group’s “AI Principles” where the firm is “developing features that enhance individual expression and the authenticity of human connections.” Match Group does not block AI programs, but Russia stopped the service after Zhadan ended Tinder discussions. Using ChatGPT to meet your spouse may seem cold and informal. It’s unlikely that Zhadan and Vyalshakaeva would have met without AI, which helped them form a wonderful relationship. The pair would use ChatGPT to organize the wedding, Vyalshakaeva stated.
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