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Jade Small
Jade Small
October 23, 2024 ·  5 min read

12 Of The Most Common Lies Sociopaths And Narcissists Tell, Translated Into Truth

Navigating relationships can be challenging, especially when dealing with manipulative personalities like narcissists and sociopaths. These individuals often engage in deceitful behavior, relying on a web of lies that can leave their victims feeling confused and powerless. Understanding these lies can empower individuals to recognize red flags and protect themselves from emotional manipulation. Here’s a closer look at twelve common lies told by these personalities, translated into the unsettling truths behind them.

I Would Never Lie to You

concept of narcissistic woman cheating on man who loves her: young attractive and self-confident woman on cell phone while man behind her looks sad
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When a narcissist says this, they are often signaling the opposite: “I am lying right now.” Genuine truth-tellers don’t feel the need to proclaim their honesty. This statement is a tactic designed to sow seeds of doubt, creating a conflict between their words and actions. By insisting they are trustworthy, they aim to manipulate you into overlooking their deceitful behavior, keeping you locked in a cycle of confusion and self-doubt.

I’m Just So Busy Right Now

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In reality, this phrase means, “You are not my priority.” For narcissists and sociopaths, the people they interact with often serve as mere transitional targets. They might be juggling multiple partners or affairs and don’t have the time or emotional energy to invest in you. This lie reinforces their sense of entitlement, as they keep you waiting for attention while they manage their various relationships and ego boosts.

It’s Crazy How Much We Have in Common

Smiling confident man in sunglasses meets woman near bar counter. Narcissistic personality disorder in men concept
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When they say this, it’s anything but random. What they really mean is, “I’ve carefully studied you.” By mirroring your interests and desires, they create a façade of compatibility to draw you in. They’re experts at manipulating their victims’ emotions, tailoring their personalities to match yours perfectly. This mirroring can lead to a sense of false intimacy that will eventually crumble, leaving you feeling betrayed and confused.

Cheating Is Morally Wrong

Young married couple husband and wife sitting at home having problems in their marriage and a cold relationship. A boyfriend and a girlfriend roommates have an argument about spending too much money
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This statement often hides a deeper truth: “Cheating is wrong if you do it, but I operate under different rules.” Narcissists demand loyalty from their partners while believing themselves above such expectations. They will engage in multiple affairs, using you as a backup while they exploit others for resources and validation. This blatant double standard is a hallmark of their manipulative nature.

I Miss You and Love You. Just Checking In.

Two unhappy lesbians not talking to each other after having quarrel during lunch at coffee shop: sad redhead woman feeling lonely while her African girlfriend sitting next to her, using mobile phone
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This seemingly sweet sentiment actually conceals a more sinister intent: “I want to ensure I still control you.” Narcissists frequently check in after periods of silence or drama to gauge your emotional state. They thrive on the chaos they create, using your attachment to them as a means of reinforcing their power. This test serves to remind you of their influence over your feelings and your life.

They Mean Nothing to Me. You’re My One and Only.

Girl or wife saying no husband trying to convince at home - concept of break up, conflict and disagreement
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When they say this, they’re often thinking, “I enjoy the attention and drama of multiple admirers.” Narcissists relish the competition and validation of having several partners vying for their affection. They may claim you are their priority, but the reality is they are always seeking the next source of admiration, treating relationships as games to be played rather than commitments to be cherished.

My Ex Was So Dishonest and Toxic

Husband and wife are arguing at home. Angry man is yelling at his wife
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Here, the true message is, “I am the dishonest and toxic one.” By projecting their shortcomings onto previous partners, narcissists deflect attention from their own behavior. They seek pity and sympathy from you, attempting to position themselves as the victim. This tactic is designed to elicit compassion, drawing you closer while obscuring their manipulative nature.

I Was Hanging Out With Friends

Couple Quarreling Sitting on the Couch at Home, Boyfriend Screams Accusing Girlfriend. Relationship Problems by Reason of Disagreement. The Man and Woman are Arguing. Young Woman Feeling Lonely.
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This phrase often means, “I’m with my other targets.” Narcissists frequently use social gatherings as a cover for their manipulative behavior, often engaging with new victims while maintaining the illusion of friendships. When they disappear, it’s typically to shower another person with attention and affection, leaving you in the dark about their true intentions.

I’ve Moved Around a Lot—I Love to Travel

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In this context, what they mean is, “I love leaving behind those who’ve seen through my facade.” For these personalities, changing locations is an escape route from the consequences of their actions. They thrive on reinventing themselves in new settings, where they can avoid accountability and leave a trail of hurt behind them.

I Used to Be a Player, But Now I’m a Changed Man or Woman

Head shot portrait close up angry girlfriend quarreling with African American boyfriend, young man and woman in glasses, strict teacher talking to unhappy student, isolated on grey background
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This statement is often a precursor to manipulation: “I’m hoping you’ll believe me so I can get close to you.” By pretending to have reformed, narcissists try to lure you into their web of deceit. They may feign remorse for past behavior, but in reality, they have no intention of changing; they simply want to achieve their current goal—whether that’s a physical relationship or another form of manipulation.

I Am Truly Sorry; I Really Am. This Is Not Who I Am.

Stressed young married family couple arguing emotionally, blaming lecturing each other, sitting on couch. Depressed husband quarreling with wife, having serious relations communication problems.
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When they say this, they are actually conveying, “This is exactly who I am.” Narcissists might offer apologies to alleviate the immediate tension but have no genuine intent to change their behavior. These apologies are often tactical moves designed to win you back into their orbit, ensuring they can continue their manipulative patterns without interruption.

He or She Was Obsessed With Me

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In truth, this means, “My past victims tried to expose me.” When confronted by previous partners, narcissists often label them as obsessed to discredit their experiences. By positioning themselves as the victim, they divert attention away from their own wrongdoings, leaving you more susceptible to their charm and manipulations.

Conclusion: Recognizing the Lies

Couple Quarreling Sitting on the Couch at Home, Boyfriend Screams Accusing Girlfriend. Relationship Problems by Reason of Disagreement. The Man and Woman are Arguing. Young Woman Feeling Lonely.
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Understanding the truth behind these common lies can help you navigate relationships with greater awareness and resilience. By recognizing the manipulative tactics used by narcissists and sociopaths, you can protect yourself from emotional harm and create healthier connections. Trust your instincts and remember: genuine relationships are built on honesty and mutual respect, not deceit and manipulation.