Kyla Dawn

Kyla Dawn

September 10, 2025

10 Common Phrases Used By Pick-Me Girls

In social conversations, certain patterns reveal deeper needs for validation. One example is the behavior often linked to pick-me girls. These are individuals who try to stand out by distancing themselves from other women, usually in ways that seek male approval. Instead of highlighting genuine individuality, their words often create comparisons and subtle put-downs. Understanding these phrases helps explain how approval-seeking language shapes identity and relationships.

Separating From Other Women

Pick-me girls often rely on phrases that seem casual at first but carry hidden meanings. For instance, a classic line is, “I’m not like other girls.” This statement appears lighthearted, yet it separates the speaker from the broader group of women. By saying this, she implies that being different is more valuable, while being a “regular girl” is somehow less worthy. That mindset fuels competition rather than celebrating uniqueness.

A similar example is when someone claims, “I only hang out with guys because girls are too much drama.” While friendships with men are perfectly natural, dismissing all women as dramatic sets up a harmful divide. It suggests that female friendships are less valid or enjoyable, which is simply not true. Attention-seeking girls often frame this choice as proof of being “low-maintenance” or “cool,” hoping it makes them more appealing.

3 men and 1 woman standing together, laughing and talking.
Source: Unsplash

Using Appearance to Compete

Another common phrase is, “I don’t wear makeup because I’m natural.” Choosing not to wear makeup is valid, but when the statement is used to imply that women who enjoy beauty products are “fake,” it turns preference into judgment. Authenticity does not depend on cosmetics, yet approval chasers often use this comparison to elevate themselves.

The same pattern appears in comments like, “I eat a lot but never gain weight.” What sounds like a playful remark quickly becomes a way to highlight effortless thinness, while dismissing the struggles others may face. These comparisons make body diversity seem like a contest, instead of something to respect and accept.

Interests as a Stage for Validation

Even everyday interests become a stage for competition. Saying, “I hate shopping,” or “I’m such a tomboy,” is fine if it reflects true personality. But when said with an air of superiority, these words suggest that enjoying fashion, trends, or femininity makes someone less genuine. Validation seekers often cling to these differences to appear more appealing, ignoring that interests do not determine worth.

Woman waring glasses and red lipstick, holding mulitiple shopping bags.
Source: Unsplash

Labels like “fake” also appear often. A phrase such as, “I can’t stand fake girls,” rarely addresses dishonesty. Instead, it criticizes women who embrace femininity through makeup, clothes, or social trends. This unfairly reduces complex identities to shallow assumptions.

Fitting In With Men

Similarly, when someone insists, “I’m one of the guys,” it can sound like pride in fitting into male groups, yet it usually masks the belief that blending with men is superior to connecting with women. Pick-me girls often highlight this dynamic to appear unique, forgetting that real individuality does not require putting others down.

Gossip is another subject where this behavior shows up. The phrase, “I don’t like gossip,” seems harmless, but when delivered with judgment, it paints women as overly talkative or petty. In truth, gossip exists in every group, regardless of gender. The problem comes when it is used as a blanket critique of women rather than as a personal boundary.

A woman swhispering into another womans ear, with a looks of surprise on her face.
Source: Unsplash

The “Low-Maintenance” Ideal

Finally, the line, “I’m not high maintenance,” appears frequently. While meant to sound humble, it implies that women who enjoy self-care, luxury, or higher standards are too demanding. Approval chasers often use this phrase to highlight themselves as more desirable, ignoring the fact that personal preferences do not define someone’s value.

Why These Phrases Matter

When viewed together, these phrases show how language can reinforce insecurity. Pick-me girls may not intend harm, yet their words often reflect a desire to be chosen over others. The focus is not on celebrating individuality but on creating comparisons that secure attention. Recognizing these phrases allows people to step back and question why approval is tied to putting others down.

Woman with brunette hari in a floral top, smiling.
Source: Unsplash

The Bigger Picture

The bigger picture reveals a social pressure that has long encouraged women to compete for male validation. Yet, individuality does not require comparison. A person can enjoy makeup, sports, fashion, or any interest without needing to prove superiority. Instead of saying, “I’m not like other girls,” a healthier approach is to affirm, “I’m unique, just as everyone is.” That shift not only builds self-confidence but also fosters stronger connections.

Closing Thoughts

In the end, the phrases linked to pick-me girls reflect more than just casual comments. They reveal the ongoing tension between authenticity and validation. By moving away from these approval-seeking habits, people can learn to embrace diversity without judgment. Every woman deserves to be valued for her individuality, not her ability to distance herself from others. Celebrating this truth creates healthier friendships, more authentic relationships, and a stronger sense of self-worth.